Fat Etiquette Tips For The Non Fat
November 05, 2002
written by Nikki

Even the most "fat positive" people may be ignorant to basic fat etiquette - mostly because it doesn't affect them so they don't need to think about it. I'm making this list in an attempt to educate people who are not fat of things that may help them be more accomodating to the needs of us wonderful fatties... we outnumber them, you know!

When you are getting into a car with a crowd of people, whoever is the largest should be given "shotgun" (the passenger's seat). Smooshing fatties in the backseat with a slew of other people is not going to be comfortable for anyone. You don't want to make people physically uncomfortable, right? Then obey fat etiquette and give fatties some space!

When going to a restaurant with a fat person, allow the fat person to choose where you are seated. Consider the fact that your fat pal may not fit into a booth, and may not feel comfortable sitting at a table with their back facing the rest of the restaurant. Personally, I like sitting against walls facing everyone so i don't feel like everyone is staring at the back of me. Most other fat people in my life have that same opinion.

When going out on the town with your fat friends, consider the fact that movie theater seats may be too small for them. Consider the fact that bar stools may not be comfortable for them, or that overcrowded shows and
bars may not be the safest place. Along the same lines, do not make any assumptions about what your fat friends can and cannot do - leave it up to them. Your fat babe friend might be able to run miles without feeling winded!

When inviting a fat person to sleep at your house, make sure that the couch/cot/bed/whatever you give them to sleep on will not collapse under them. Don't assume they will be able to fit in a bed with 3 other people. Don't
assume that they will be able to wear your bedclothes to sleep. In addition, let your fat friends know if there are any weak chairs in the house that they should avoid. Do it with respect.

Never equate fat with inability. Never assume your fat peers can't do everything you can, and better. Never assume that because a person is fat, they are unhealthy, undesirable, or unhappy.

Do not assume all fat people are on diets. Do not assume that all fat people eat unhealthy food all day long. Don't assume anything about our diets, and don't ask us questions about what we eat in relation to our bodyweight unless we want to talk about that. If we want to talk about that, we'll bring it up. Never suggest food off the menu that you think would be good for a fat person to order, whether it be a large portion to fill us up or a diet portion to slim us down. You may mean well, but it's not nice.

If you offer a fat person shotgun or your seat on the subway and they do not want to take it, don't pressure them. We may not want it at that time, but thank you for caring enough (honestly).

Don't make fat jokes around fat people. Don't make fat jokes PERIOD. If someone makes a fat joke around you, tell them they are being immature and stupid.

When having sex with a fat person, respect that they may not feel comfortable in certain positions. Remember that it may not be physically possible for your fat lover to get into certain positions. Let your lover choose positions, and communicate with each other about things you both like.

Don't say you're fat if you aren't fat. Don't whine to your fat friends about your gut that's barely visible. Don't try to compare being teased for being "too skinny" to the constant degradation and oppression of fatfolk. If you don't read as "fat" to people who see you,don't call yourself "fat." Body dysphoria and actual size are two different things. like.

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